Welcome jaz!
I found that I never could get back to the "fun days," and I worked pretty hard at it. After repeating the same day over and over again for months, if not years, I finally gave up trying to make it work. Alcohol made me more and more depressed and anxious.
If you're at the end of your rope, that's a good thing. Getting sober is scary, I know, but it's the best thing I ever did. Stick around - this is a great place!
