I do understand that she has underlying issues which could have contributed to her seeking alcohol to escape, self-soothe, find relief from depression or anxiety......many people become alcoholics not because they loved to party but because alcohol took away emotional pain and psychic distress.
But: alcoholism is an organic disease of the brain. At some point in the drinker's life, a permanent switch is thrown, the doors lock shut behind her, and she is now trapped in a mental compulsion she cannot control. This is the part of alcoholism that is hard to understand, but unless we get this, we will all think that if an alcoholic just has the right talk therapy to heal those psychic wounds, then the compulsion and obsession to drink will be removed.
It will be of great help to you if you continue to seek information about the basics of addiction, for you are hungry for information and tools, and that is certainly a good thing.
There are a couple of series on DVD you can order--probably through your local library or through Netflix--on addiction. One is "Close to Home" with Bill Moyers interviewing addicts and addiction experts. The other is the HBO series on addiction, I'm not sure the exact title. And you can also read the AA Big Book at
Big Book Online Fourth Edition.
If your wife is not desperate to stop drinking, then the entire 60 minutes she is sitting in a counselor's office will be spent silently obsessing about getting the hell out of there and finding a drink.
She has to want to stop. Consequences will get her there. Keep learning.