Thanks to everyone for your kind replies. Please believe me when I tell you that these boundaries came after A LOT of mistakes. I'm still struggling with getting to the place I need to be in my head and continue to make mistakes. But, I do know that he would not have gone to rehab if it were not for me standing my ground. What he does while he's there is his choice. I'm still struggling with detaching and spend most of my time dealing with the anxiety of knowing that this may not be the solution for him to ultimately be clean. He doesn't sound invested in this change (he says hes resolved to stay clean, but still feels hes smarter than anyone in there including the docs and counselors) when I talk to him and he hasn't had any "I've seen the light" moments yet. I almost wish he had! But, I know I need to detach and not let my life and my daughter's life revolve around his recovery or lack thereof. He's been the central focus of this family for far too long. But, wow is that a hard lesson to learn!
Mstrust.... I have used the same cheating analogy many times myself! That is exactly what it feels like and my bf doesn't get it either.