Update
First off, thank you for all your insightful responses, they are much appreciated. It may sound like I'm dismissing them in the rest of my post, but I am not, everything is soaking in and considered.
I've been thinking about what you've written and what's been going on at home, and I've thought about some more things.
One, if she ws so miserable (for a long time now), why didn't SHE seek out marriage counseling? Why is it my job? Because if we did, supposedly, work out our problems, then there would be less reason to drink and blame me.
Note: she has not had a drink since last Sunday! She said she would stop, and she has. She's been cold to me, but at least not the mood swings and everything else. She says she very tired and doesn't feel well, possibly withdrawal.
You guys asked how I feel and what I want to happen in all of this... Well, for the sake of our son, I would like to keep the family unit together as one, peacefully. It was also asked why I'm going to counseling for her issues, and not mine. I feel that if she can get some of her issues out and get them discussed and worked on, and stop denying them, then I believe we will make progress. I've learned a lot about myself over the last six weeks just being on this Forum and reading the stories and the advice/guidance/experiences of others. So for that, I thank you.
We are very private people, and so having some 'come out' is a huge blow. Her family is all about denial and keeping secrets. If the situation had been turned around, then she would have wanted answers as well - but she doesn't see thst side of it, obviously.
Will keep you posted.