Sally.
Drinking is not the answer.
I thought it was too - it was my only solution to all my problems
But until you realise it's not a viable option you're just going to be stuck getting worse and worse, Sally.
There are other options although they might take a little effort, and a little patience.
If you feel badly or are worried about withdrawal go to your local hospital today.
That's a better option that drinking again.
I suffered from depression too - my drinking never ever helped my depression tho.
I needed to tackle both my depression and my alcoholism....it took a lot of trying and a lot of being a squeaky wheel...it meant a few uncomfortable periods...but I was having those anyway when drinking - but I persevered and I got the help I needed eventually.
You deserve better than you're allowing yourself Sally - the first step to that is making better choices, I think.
D