For me it was the collision between wanting to be as drunk as possible as often as possible while yet wanting to upkeep a "normal" life. The idea that I couldn't have both was something I feel like I blocked out for quite a long time.
The addiction was primarily the main thing that held me back. Admitting that I had an addiction was the right start for me. The second thing I had to eventually overcome was the brute fact that, as an addict (in recovery), I also dreamed of a life with that addiction.
I think one thing that was hard, that I had to eventually overcome in my recovery process, was both being able to admit that I was an addict *AND* that therefore I had a very real and somewhat understandable reason to want to drink that I felt I had to surpress at all costs.
To me, a lot of what counted as "being honest" in recovery wasn't so much confessing my wrong-doings or "bad thoughts" but just being able to say I am committed to my recovery without negating the real fact that, sometimes even to this day, I kind of wish I could make a full escape (whatever that means, I never quite leared what...) via acohol.
In short. I think we lie because we want to drink. We struggle to understand why we want to do something so badly while knowing we shouldn't. I think good sobriety should teach that this isn't the end-of-the-world. It's one thing to feel compelled to drink and something very entirely different to act on it.