Where do I start? My boyfriend of 7 years is an opiate addict and I am a codependent. We have a 3 year old daughter who is AMAZING. Even if she weren't my daughter, I'd say that.
I've posted before so I'll keep this brief: he became addicted to opiates, then switched to illegally purchased subutex in large quantities in his half-hearted attempt to get sober, then saw a psychiatrist for suboxone, tried half a dozen times to get clean on his own, and eventually (the last few weeks) went back to snorting oxy and eventually shooting it.
Where have I been in this? I would not allow him to drive my daughter or be with her without supervision. I started this rule back when I thought he was just on subutex. When I learned he was back on oxy, I kicked him out. I told him my boundaries included not allowing an actively using addict in the home.
Where did I go wrong? Oh, where do I start... I would perceive his promises of "weaning" or "detoxing" as a way to let him back in the house. I said to myself "he's not violating my boundaries if he's getting clean and he NEEDS my support to get there. He cannot do this alone!!" Oh what a fool I've been. He would get comfy for a few days, bring on the lies, then I'd find out what I didn't want to know.
Where am I now? I kicked him out. Told him I was done and come back when you've been sober for a while. He slept in his car bc he didn't want to involve his family, threatened suicide, begged to come home. I stayed strong and told him again what he needed to do.
Now.... He's in rehab for the first time in his life. He got fired after asking for a leave of absence and his whole family now knows the truth. I'm trying to find myself and I'm keeping it going for my daughter but I just feel like losing my mind. I dont have the child care needed for Naranon so I'm posting here and doing what I can to pick up the pieces of my life.