fgo

Hi everyone,
This is the second thread i have started, the first one was asking if anyone could help me figure out what to do about losing my girlfriend(best friend) of almost 2 years to drinking. I want to thank everyone that responded to that thread, just like everything on this site it was extremely helpful. I have not had a drink in over a month and don't see an end in sight. I will never pick up drink again, and i will never change my mind. With the help of the responses I got and my commitment to not drinking, my girlfriend agreed to meet me last friday. We had a relationship that we could tell each other anything without fear of being judged. At the meeting she told me that it wasnt my drinking (it was for me) but the fact that i lied to her about my drinking that hurt her the most. She flat out told me she doesnt trust me and is not sure she can. When she asked my why i lied i really didnt have a good answer. I said it was fear, shame, feeling worthless, but she didnt get it. Does anyone have a better answer why we lie to the most important people in our lives about our drinking? BTW she said she is not sure about us, but is willing to keep me at arms length until she figures it out. Guess it will have to do for now considering i broke her trust. Thank you in advance you guys are great and i hope i can help someone here the way you all have for me.