I have posted that I wanted to leave my ABF and move to Canada by myself to begin my new job. Of course I didn't follow through because how could I possibly abandon the poor man, right? So we took off and even on the trip from the West coast to Canada he got sloppy drunk on two occasions.
And here is the divine intervention: when we went into the immigration office at the border to get my work permit, he was denied entry into Canada because of an old DUI. It was a total shock.
He was totally devastated, but we had to come up with plan B. I took him to the East coast (yes, I have been driving a lot lately, 4,000 miles) where is staying with his family now, working on an immigration waiver. I am in Toronto with my two dogs, trying to find an apartment...
During the week that we have been apart, he managed to find a way to get his injured back treated by a doctor, has applied for disability (for his back and combat-related PTSD (he is a vet)). As soon as he is approved, he plans on starting mental health treatment and recovery. I have not asked him to any of it since we are apart. I used to ask and ask and ask when we were together, but he never did because he never had to. As soon as he was on his own, he gets it handled. He told me he wants to make the best of this time apart and become a better person. For the first time that I have known him, he is getting it together (WITHIN A WEEK!). Good for me to get a break from the alcoholic, but good for him to get a break from the co-dependent caretaker.
It goes to show that I never helped him by enabling him. I provided a home in which he was allowed to give in to his addiction. Now that this home is gone, he is perfectly capable of handling life and himself. This is a total eye-opener for me. I have always believed in a higher power, but in a sort of quiet and sometimes sceptic way. But lately someone has really been looking out for me and I need to find myself a church here.
I have to admit, that I am going through a rough time because it's hard to find an apartment for me and my two pups and I feel very lonely. Luckily I found a great doggie daycare, but after four weeks of being on the road and in motels, I am ready for a home. Wish me luck!
(If anyone knows of a pet-friendly apartment/house in Eastern Toronto for a lovely, reliable, and financially secure expatriate, please let me know.
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