Doesn't sound like your wife knows much about alcoholism. My husband doesn't either. He still thinks it's 'silly' that I can't just have one or two drinks occasionally. I ignore his ignorance, it's not his responsibility to understand this, he's not qualified to provide me any type of treatment recommendations (thank goodness!).
I read about MM in the beginning of my journey, I know (I think?) the 'program' requires you to be sober for 30 days to start with. That might answer a lot of your questions regarding the level of your addiction/dependence.
They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. ~Edith Wharton