First off I'd like to say that I am new here and I am struggling with an issue that I really could use some advice on. My boyfriend is an alcoholic and recently came out of detox and is in an intensive outpatient problem and still drinking. He became friends with a woman while in detox and I had no problem with it but I guess I din't think it would become an everyday thing with her. I figured it would be support calls when needed and an ocasional meeting together and even coffee after. To me that is what usually happens. Since the day he came out they talk everyday and text every day and go to each others houses. Since he has been out of detox its been a lot of days where he has been passed out drunk and even last night I had to practically carry him to bed. HE doesn't even rememeber some of the great times we have because he is so drunk. This of course saddens me seeing him like this. Since he does drink a lot, Im missing out on those good days together, that when he is sober I just want to soak up the time with him, because I never know what each day will bring. Then when Im with him, the texts are coming in and calls and even today we were at a family BBQ and he took a call and walked away for about a half hour and it wasn't a distress call at all and that was after a morning and afternoon of texts and calls. It was something that could have waited. Am I wrong to just ask him to have boubdaries with this woman? I want the best for him, but I don't want to lose anymore time with him on top of the drinking taking away time. I've helped him get into detox, I've dealt with his insurance, his work and I support and encourage him and also give the tough love that I hate to give but know he needs. He is my world. I just miss him.I I even found myself enabling him and put a stop to that. He tells me that we see each other everyday and yes we usually do, but most of the time he is drunk so its not quality time. Maybe I am selfish and if I am please tell me. This bothers me so much and I know he is going through a hard time and its not about me. Am I over reacting??
This also is not new to me because evryone I have dated before or married has had addictive behaviors and sddicted to drugs alcohol or sex and I deal with this everyday in my profession. Its definetly much different when its close to home. I love him immensly and don't want to male this harder for him but I did want him to know how I felt.