it's getting bad again
I started law school about two weeks ago. I put together 39 sober days over the summer but started drinking again in July. I convinced myself that I could drink "only during weekends"... this fell apart when I had maybe 12 or 13 beers on Thursday night, drank most of Friday, and now am on my third beer of the morning. not good stuff... yet, I am back in the situation where I cannot believe that life would be enjoyable without alcohol.
I fashion it as a "break from life". when the bender ends, I go back into life, then hole up for a day or two and kill 30+ beers, and the cycle repeats. there's a hole in the logic somewhere.