In my experience the only effective way to prevent future failure
is to conduct a proper failure analysis.Upon completion
of aforementioned analysis,the hard part comes.....a dispassionate
self evaluation of the acts & omissions (by ME) that contributed
to the failure....to whit:
1. I crossed paths with an addict.
(a material fact without meaning,there have been addicts since time began)
2. I cared what happened to her.
(complicating factor,as emotions cloud rational judgement)
3.I turned off my "BS meter",pretending to believe falsehoods because of #2.
(a critical root failure,as I voluntarily lost my footing in the REAL world to 'help' her)
4.I go deeper into 'her' world,now telling lies to MY loved ones to cover
up the fact that $hundreds were actually over 5 figures.
(now locked firmly in codependency--her sickness becomes mine)
5.Find SR,identify codependency as core issue ,recognize situation is
rapidly escalating out of control and emergency egress is called for.
6.Initiate emergency egress (no contact),anticipate uncomfortable
withdrawal effects and prepare countermeasures.
painful,
hard,
necessary.
Nobody likes to look failure in the eye.It hurts.But I learned long ago that the only
way to succeed in life is to love and embrace your failures.Drink them in,go back to
the places you've failed badly--and remember how you felt.Don't get me wrong,success
is great and I am very happy & proud to be where I am in life----but success never
taught me a damn thing.....every single last thing of value I have learned came from
failure.Failing,feeling the sting,learning the lesson,applying what you've learned.
If only she had faced her demons instead of hiding from them with oxy.I don't
know if she would have won or lost---but at least she'd have the dignity of either
killing her demons or leaving the mother%&@%$#s with some choice scars
......to remember her by...