CentralOhioDad,
Now that you have shared your wife's agenda, and her perspective on your lives, May I ask you, How are YOU ? How do you feel about a divorce? What do YOU want to do?
Your wife is the classic textbook read, the selfish out of control alkie, in deep denial, and knows how to manipulate, and blameshift. And in general,turn everyday living into absolute chaos.
I learned not to take what XA said to seriously, as he either forgot he ever said it, ( gotta love the blackouts) or he would be jumping out of a different tree. It all became an irrational, annoying noise.
Hope you find a counselor to help you sort all this out. And know we are here and listening too.
Hang in there.