Originally Posted by
Quinne 
Hi all,
Contrary to what she may believe or think, i'm still riding an absolute rollercoaster; fear and anxiety that can't be alleviated (unless i'm sitting in a meeting, funnily enough), horrific lows and loneliness, psychosomatic symptoms, you know....the works. I have no doubt in my mind for a second that i'm powerless over alcohol.
Anyway, my Dr's opinion is that i'm doing "marvelously" at the moment and actually encouraged me to keep taking this medication (valium, up to 5mg per day)
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not being 100% honest with myself. If anyone would care to share their experience, it would be greatly appreciated
My experience -- I listen to myself, take into consideration what my doctor says, definitely know when I am using something as a crutch, throw out what I consider not relating to my own life. You sound like you have a really good grasp on the 100% honesty. I relate to internal conflict part of your post. It's difficult to meet everyones expectation so you should just try meeting your own for now. Early sobriety is shaky ground which you described very well!
I'd never go off a medicine that was helping me during a difficult time, especially against the advise of my doctor to placate a sponsor/a friend/my spouse/whoever. Only when
I felt ready to. Usually we know what we can handle. When I was ready, I made changes that helped with any internal conflicts.
Were it me, had I been 100% honest with my doctor and myself, I'd continue to do what works
at that time. 