Thanks for the support, it really helps. I really appreciate the comments on the anxiety/depression issue. Depression runs in my family, on my mom's side. I feel that I have been dealing with depression since I was an early teen, but I never really understood it was an actual illness until my grandmother was hospitalized for depression when I was in my late teens. Her's was so severe that she had electro shock therapy, twice. I know that sounds severe but it actually helped her a lot and she lived a pretty healthy life until she died at the age of 90 last November. She was never a drinker. Frankly, I'm in awe that she wasn't. As a person dealing with pretty serious depression, I honestly don't know how she pulled it off for 90 years. She was a tough lady, but she wouldn't talk about her depression. I think my mom has some serious depression issues, but she also refuses to admit it. She doesn't drink either. Anyway, I'm trying to be proactive about this and I am taking medication for it. (My grandmother refused medication for years and I think maybe that's why it got to the point where she had to be hospitalized). But, of course drinking counteracts the meds. I know that, I just can't seem to stop the urge to use alcohol to numb my feelings.