Someone's daughter once said on here 'you can at least put as much effort into getting sober as you did getting drunk'
I thought that was a really good way to think.
We spend so much time drinking, thinking about drinking, regretting drinking, wishing we were drinking, hiding our drinking and rationalising our drinking that I became exhausted.
Getting sober does require hard work at first.
I did not know how to relax without a drink.
It was the first thing I did when I put my child to sleep.
It was the first thing I thought of in the morning - in that I wished I had not drunk anything the night before.
Yes you have made some bad choices, we all have.
But burying your end under a sea of alcohol is not going to get you to deal with them and find away to live with them.
As far as I can see, you did not kill anyone. No-one died.
Perhaps you have a few amends to make to your kids and husband. But your husband must think a lot of you he took you back.
You can kickstart your career as soon as you get a handle on being sober and how to live sober.
Why not invest time in AA, rational recovery or AVRT?
Try not to mope and tink of the past too much. It will only end up being an excuse to drink.
Of course your family and friends need you. They probably are busy with life as we all are.
I wish you all the best xxxx