jw3013

Thanks to all for such a quick response to my time in desperate need. I think I drink morning and night to pretend i'm someone else. To pretend I wasn't the one who did those awful things. I was a Police Officer, the only college grad in my entire family in 2 generations. Everyone looked up to me and needed me for everything. I was smart and likeable and was at every ones disposal, had the world in my hand.....then boom, I threw it away. I started drinking, I cheated on my husband (twice), I ran off with a man leaving my 2 kids behind for 3 mths for my husband to care for. I lost all control of my world that I was always in control of. Thank god my husband took me back, but the drinking never stopped. Only got worse because I drowned my sorrows in it as well. Now I have 4 kids, drinking almost all day, no longer an Officer, gained 60 pounds cause my husband is too afraid to let me go out into the work force without screwing everything up again and worse of all no more family members need me or want me. Even if I stay sober I'll still hate who I am. Been drinking for almost 3 years straight. I finally asked my husband for help but he doesn't know the seriousness and shruggs it off kinda. I fell with my newborn infront of my kids one night last year and my husband had to make up a story to cover for me saying "mamas tired". I am tired. I hope fate brought me here for a reason. Thanks again for listening.