I feel like that in a lot of ways septemberlass and continue to be miserable sober and drunk. an endless cycle feeding itself. but in the end, i will never stop trying to be sober. quitting over and over again, even if it never works, and i die a drunk. because i believe there is good in not drinking and only darkness in the bottle. even if i am miserable sober person, i occasionally get things done. and there is a small chance that i can become sober one day and do good things for people instead of hiding in a forgetful blur. any way, who knows, maybe after a long, long time of sobriety, there can be happiness too. but i know 100 percent, there can only be very temporary happiness in the bottle, and the endless cycle of depression will continue.