Not sure what to say since it doesn't sound like you are looking for advice or input. That's fine and I understand that.
I am very sorry that you are suffering through all of this. Hope you can find Peace one way or another.
One thing that I didn't see in your "alcoholism sucks" list is death. I know on the surface that some of us don't want to admit to ourselves or others that death is a deterrent However, I think when the rubber truly hits the road, it does truly get very scary and real when the health problems actually show up. If not for us then at least for those around us. That to me deserves to be on the "sucks" list.