This:
he is a good father (when he is sober)
is an oxymoron.
And you have contradicted yourself by stating:
he still drinks of course ... his daughter will always take a backseat to his stuff, his games, his drinking, his cars ... No one is as important to him as himself
So please, recognize that this man is NOT a good father. Recognize how you are, and have been, fooling yourself by the way you think.