HI
I'm on day four. I have been a secret 3/4 day wine binger. This is my second time for joining S.R and I am planning on it being my last. After the humiliation of being caught again by my other half on Saturday night I know I don't want to feel this way any more. The horrible guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach, sweating, big red face, worrying about being caught, thinking of different ways to bring wine in and dispose of the empty bottles. I became quite an expert at that, believe me.
I have had black outs, woke up several times a night, panicking, trying to remember if I made a show of myself, sent any silly text messages or put anything stupid on F.B.
I've realised, that a bottle of wine is just not worth this awful anxiety. It doesn't make me feel good, it doesn't make me look good. What is nice about a drunken woman, a mature woman at that?
Yesterday, I spent the whole day scrubbing my kitchen cupboards and walls. Must be something in the air. Yesterday I felt dreadful, sad, upset, fearful. Today I feel slightly better.
I am going to do this, my family is worth more than this and so am I.
You can and will do it too.
Lots of love and big hugs.
Gxxx