FenwayFaithful

Well he called me. I knew it was coming.

He told me that he was arrested for robbing someone but he didn’t do it.

Yeah right I’m SURE you didn’t do it just like you weren’t using drugs, you didn’t do this last crime and all your money was being spent on stupid stuff and all the times you called me a wh***, and a b**** and selfish and heartless etc, you were 100 percent sober SURE I mean I have EVEYR REASON in the world to believe the words that come out of your mouth. told

That's what exactly what I told him.

He told me he's got nothing left to lose so why would he continue to lie? I him because it's all he knows how to do.

I remained calm and composed during the phone call. I told him we’re over. He told me he expected that.

He also expects to do serious time between this new crime and the last.

He asked me to come visit him I told him that probably won’t happen. He says he understand he doesn’t deserve it but he’d like a face to face. I told him I don’t owe him anything and everything will be on my terms and what’s best for me.

He said he was sorry, the he was sick, that he wished he didn’t use , saying me being away at school was hard on him and it never would have happened if I’d stayed in Boston. That I was his best friend and losing me was worse then any pain he could imagine.

I told him that bull. That he would have found some other reason to use even if I was in Boston. ( I didn't say this but I ain't his best friends, DRUGS are his best friend)

I told him he lies so much that I don’t even think he knows when he’s lying anymore.

He asked me if I was “acting single” (aka hooking up…) and I said it wasn’t his business what I did with my freedom. For the record I am SO not hooking up with anyone but it’s seriously none of his business.

I don’t feel any different after talking to him. I just feel the same. I’m glad I now at least know what he did.

He wants to communicate through letters, stay in touch about how I’m doing. I told him I don’t think it’s a good idea but I’d think about it.

It probably really ISN’T a good idea but part of me still feels like I am partially responsible. I know I can’t save him and I can’t cure him. I don’t want to be with him, not now and not when he gets out but a small part of me wonders if it would be okay to write every now and then.

He’s going to be locked up for a very long time. I know most of you are going to say why would you even want to stay in tough with a lying, cheating. Addict criminal? And the truth is I don’t know why I do.

Part of me wonders what it can hurt to write a letter or two every now and then. Another part of me thinks it’s just me trying to change or control or help someone who is beyond help.

I thought hearing from him would be really hard but it wasn’t. He cried and to be honest I didn’t even feel bad. I almost felt cold. He told me he loved me so much and I just said “Okay” and he asked me if I loved him too and I said “I have to go” and I hung up.


I wasn’t trying to be cruel or hurt him but I feel like he thinks I was. Oh well, I mean let him think what he wants.