I've decided not to give him the letter. Last night he told me he was unhappy (with himself, finances, kids, me, etc) he sounded desperate so I was straightforward with him and told him all of your issues stem from your drinking. You need help. I can't help you, the kids can't help you, you CAN help you. He gave me the party line "yeah I need to cut down, blah, blah, blah" I looked him dead in the eye and said are you willing to get help? Counseling, AA, anything? He said no. That was my answer. I suggested he start exercising to clear he his head. It was what I need to hear. I'm done. I started looking for part time work today. It will be slow going and I will need help. But I know now his choice and I will let him live with it. My kids deserve one strong parent over two weak ones. I'm sad that my marriage will probably end. I'm upset that this disease is stronger than him, me, us. I've never been in a relationship with an addict before. This is new territory for me. But I have enough self respect to not be in a one sided marriage. I will, I'm sure be posting lots of questions. Thank you all so so much for your honesty, your opinions, and you stories. I'm so glad I found this group.
I plan on telling my therapist everything that's going on, but right now no one else. I'm not really sure why. I guess I don't wanna feel pressure if things aren't happening fast enough? Is this wise? Or should I tell someone else? I'm not worried about violence. Its not his nature, but I don't wanna deal with the I'll change I'll fix it as long as I don't have to stop drinking b.s.