Thanks for the support, Frances and LuvMySis.
What I'm also noticing is that, while there is a part of me that is shaming myself for feeling so angry and judgmental, there is also a part of me who recognizes that it would feel so much better to be forgiving of others rather than judgmental towards them. It doesn't mean that I have to like them, it just means that it would feel better to accept the fact that they are the way they are, and move on with my life.
This has been easier in some areas than in others...
:horse
I see my therapist tonight, and I'm really thankful that I get to have that opportunity. It's helped me to make huge changes in my perceptions and my knee-jerk reactions, so I'm glad that I finally have that luxury in life, and have found a really great therapist to work with.
Your self-care method rings true for me, Frances.
Something that I've noticed that has really been helping me feel like I'm caring for myself as well as my family is that I've recently started making my own homemade laundry and dishwasher detergents, hand sanitizers, facial cleansers, etc., in order to avoid having too many weird (or potentially carcinogenic) chemicals around in our house.
That may not be everyone's cup of tea, so to speak, but whatever works.
It's been really therapeutic, which wasn't what I was expecting, but I realize that it's a form of nurturing myself and my family.
I've also been making a lot of healthy, organic foods and juices (although lately it's been too hot to actually cook anything), and it really does make such a huge difference.
I just really haven't had time to sit and "feel" my feelings, way down deep where my inner child lives, so the feelings are just kind of sitting on the surface, stewing and gurgling, waiting to be truly addressed.
Sometimes it becomes so tiresome and laborious, digging through those feelings (that I don't really want to be feeling to begin with), but I know that if I don't do it they're not going anywhere, and my reactions will continue to affect my life negatively.
So thank you again for your responses, it's one of those "in between" times for me, when the feelings are coming up and I haven't had the time, energy, or whatever it is that I need in order to feel my way through them.
