Digital, everyone s different, but I can tell you that your story sounds not dissimilar to mine. In the rear view mirror now I can see all of my excuses, pardons, etc for drinking. Tried to control it, convinced myself I could. I couldn't, it's progressive too, for me the binge drinking episodes got worse, to the point of blow up(job loss, marital break point, etc). I'm now in counseling to address the demons(root causes, triggers, etc) and in IOP to address the drinking itself. Ive been sober for thirty two days and feel great... This site can be of great assistant ce to you, stick around.. Lots of experienced people(much more so than me)to learn from.