Are the feelings of self hatred related to your addiction? I had a difficult time with this myself because of the stigma, the lack of public understanding about addiction. But you can find many, many great individuals who have suffered from addiction and overcome it. I'm still not comfortable admitting out aloud to everybody about my problem, but it is what it is, and I think I've made my peace with my past as an addict as much as possible.
As I get older I seem to find general self acceptance easier. Self hatred consumes just so much personal, emotional energy... in my 30s I think I began to realize what a waste it was when I could be getting more out of life. I was also beginning to suffer health effects, not just mental and emotional but also physical, from this self damage.
It's still not easy sometimes and I have my demons which tend to come out occasionally. I find it very difficult to be alone at these times but it occurred to me just today, I seem to deal with it better now than I used to. I have a good counsellor who has helped me with a great deal of my negative thinking/behaviour, as a result of CBT therapy. I once did a self assessment from a questionnaire and was appalled to find that nearly 100% of my self thinking was negative... how can anyone expect to feel okay with that? Our thoughts also influence our behaviour, which reinforces those negative thoughts, in a continuous vicious cycle.
I had a lot of bad things happen to me as a kid, it happens to a lot of people. But as an adult now, I do have a certain amount of charge and control over my life, it is no longer that situation.
My mother is a very judgmental person who has her own issues, I realize now that she had some very unhealthy and unrealistic expectations of other people, and I assumed some of those myself. It wasn't until maybe a few years ago I realized the full consequence of this. I'm not perfect, I've stopped imposing that standard upon myself and others, but I am a responsible person for myself where I can be, and that's all I can do. I'm not responsible for other people all the time and can't please everyone else all the time.
It's not just CBT though, my spiritual beliefs I think have also helped but that's a personal area lol.