For me - it was a lot like you describe. I always thought of it as needing some sort of validation. I did need to be right - and I needed for AH to know it. I needed his family and friends to see that I was right - and I needed to feel that my feelings were justified.
You know what's sad, I still find myself doing that very thing even now that we've seperated. Of course, it's different now in some ways, but it still comes to the same thing.
Crazy, huh?
I'm happy that you see things in a new light now though. It should make it easier for you to progress on with your life. Sometimes we can most the most simple things so hard. (lol)