My lord he has me so emotionally exhausted, its like a roller coaster& I hate rollercoasters.I was glad to have a break on Sunday.I spent my day at home but doing things for my self. I crafted and played with my cats/kitty. It felt nice to do for me again. I am so exhausted that I hope I can keep myself together today at my job interview and then I am going to see my mom, my interview is 10min from her house so it'd be rude not to stop by. I know I will feel better after I see my mom, even though I am not going to tell her anything bc she's totally unsupportive, I know I will feel better just seeing my fam, it grounds me, gives me a period of sanity.
I am also anticipating Wed, I am anxious to hear what he tells the Dr. & if he will come clean to me about all the lies. If he will go to the NA meetings like we talked about. Regaurdless I am not gonna hold anything back, as I did before when I went to the Dr with him I told them everything, I answered every ? they asked me, I have nothing to hide& I have nothing to feel shameful or guilty about. He asked me to go w/ him last week when he made appt, but I am wondering if I should just stay in the waiting room or go into the room with him??? Part of me feels like I should go in to find out the truth & see what he tells her& be supportive during the sub induction visit, but then part me feels like I should stay in the waiting room, maybe he'll be truthful to her if I am not there,do I really need to know the truth from the Dr I already know on my own, maybe I should stay out so I am not tempted to control, maybe thats part of letting go. Maybe I should ask him what he wants me to do come in or star on waiting room. IDK. Hey thats if he even goes on Wed... Things may change before then, they often do, such is the life of an addict...