Welcome to the SR family!
Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself. I hope you will continue to reach out for support and information.
I hope you will also reach out in your community to resources that may be able to help you find a way out of this environment. Alanon meetings will get you face-to-face support on taking better care of yourself.
I also suggest reaching out to a domestic violence center will give you someone to speak with about resources if you do need to leave in a hurry.
Reaching out to the domestic violence center for advice doesn't mean you are hurting him, it means you are looking out for yourself and your child as you look for options to help in case of emergency. They also have connections in your community for support.
Have you considered seeking legal counsel. Most family law lawyers will offer a free consultation. They will spend about an hour talking with you about what your rights are as a spouse and parent in your situation. It helps if you can take papers like your SS papers and your last few tax returns to show your income level. When I learned what my rights were as a spouse, as a parent in our community; then I was able to make healthy decisions about my future.
keep reaching out, you are worth the effort.