I think the burning question is: If you found out that he's using the card to (fill in the blank___________), then what difference would it make? What IS a deal breaker for you? Where is the line? He can do whatever he wants and you just find a way to work around it and justify your staying...which is absolutely FINE if it works for you and your family. It's YOUR life. I just know that when I was in the same type of place (long ago) that I just kept moving the line so that I could stay...and his behaviors just kept getting worse and worse...so I just kept moving the line. It was an insane way to live, but I made it work for me for several years. Eventually I defined the deal breaker and it took him about 3 days to cross that boundary, so I walked and (FINALLY) never looked back. Now, in hindsight, I see how very sick I was.