Wow, this is harder than I thought. I feel emotional today. AH is putting the downpayment on an apartment today. After months and years of turmoil and stress and A. behavior and announcing drunkenly in front of our son how he was going to kill himself, having the mobile response unit take him to the hospital (I called 911), he is leaving-finally.
For those of you who don't know me, I have left him 3 times before. Each time it was ugly and all of you guys helped me through it. This time, after all that happened earlier in the week with me calling 911 etc, he has quit drinking-for real. His going to AA meetings every day. He is acknowledging that the mess of our lives is entirely his fault, he is apologetic, kind, etc. OMG. It was much easier when he was being a sh**. I explained to him that while I am very happy that he is choosing to work at sobriety, and that maybe that will repair the damage to his relationship with his son one day, it does not change anything and the we must separate. So, he is leaving.
The hard part is that I don't know this sober, humble person that well and it makes me realize that I will miss the good parts, and there were many good times in all the time we were together. That is why I kept hoping and going back to him. But now, there is no hope, no 4th chances. It is over. I made that clear. I guess I am just trying to say that I am hurting and will miss the good person that I truly believe he is. But I have to be strong because there is no guarantee he will keep this up...he never has before. But I just feel so sad.
