Mama, I can tell you without a doubt that calling the police was the right thing to do, and honey, it was bad. I grew up in a very violent home, those things went on all the time, you do not have to be hit to abused. Those acts of violence were directed at you, they were meant to hurt and scare you. They were meant as a means of control, it was the end game, you can choose to walk away or sign up for more, because once the violence is released, the potential is there for it to happen again, and again, and again. Some alcoholics who are active communicate with violence. Do not let this happen to you again.
You will have doubts, we all do, it's part of the process, the grief and sadness will last for awhile, but as you begin to move on with your life, things will ease up, you will feel better and your life will feel peaceful. Give yourself some good months to move in a new direction, be kind and gentle with yourself, good things are just around the corner.
We are here , and we care. Katie