I'm new to this board, and this is my first posting. This is something I deal with every day as an ACoA. While my husband didn't grow up in a family with an addiction problem, his father ruled with an iron, verbally and emotionally abusive fist. Even still, in the eyes of the Almighty Dad my husband isn't capable of doing anything with his life and doesn't do anything as well as his father, blahblahblah. I know better because I live with him every day, and I love him for who he is. That doesn't mean that life together is easy. Neither one of us is really sure of what "normal" behavior is in a relationship. He doesn't like to communicate and bottles things up. I've become possibly a bit TOO confrontational, in the sense that I bring everything out in the open in order to work through it. We're both learning each others' boundaries, but it's getting better every day. We support each other in hard times, and recognize each others' strengths. We're finding what works for US, which is really all that matters. Our kids (all four of em!) are happy, well adjusted, smart, caring, compassionate people. We may not have gotten off to a great start ourselves, but we're stopping the abuse with the next generation.
I guess what I'm getting at here is, if it upsets you that he leaves early for work, maybe just say, "You work so hard and I appreciate all that you do, but sometimes it really stinks that you have to go so early in the morning. It makes me feel lonely, but I know that's just my feelings about it. Maybe we can have a date night/Sleep-In Saturday/Whatever-works-for-you and spend some time together soon?" I really doubt he gets up crazy early just to spite you. So, just a thought.
And on "normal," I got this from a friend a while back and taped it up on the bathroom mirror: "Normal is nothing more than a setting on the dryer."