i do find that i keep making excuses for him...again in denial. i am also finding myself so consumed with what his family thinks of me. i feel like they blame me for what has happend. and that they are all angry with me for not letting him see the baby right now. at the meeting last night, and on this board i have read that you cant really deal with his family...they are enablers too...and will want to find a person to blame as well....me. i also feel that because of the bad blood between me and his family, i am not communicating with them regarding visitation and my marriage. i will only talk to my husband and i made that clear this week. no more contact. it is too stressful and i am already trying to keep everything else together.
and you are right red...why on earth am i obssessing about him not talking to me. i have already told him what he needs to do regarding his son, and he chooses not to. i need to let that go.
i have stereotyped what a drug addict looks like...i have. i am in denial because he went to work everyday, paid the bills...etc. but you are right...it does not matter how they look. i think i am also in denial because of the fact that he told me about the coke addiction right after he got caught sexting...i guess i thought he was trying to cover it up...stupid i know....but that is what i thought. but who in the world lies about being a coke addict and shows it to me? no one...he is an addict...and i need to accept that and act accordingly.
i feel stupid for loving him after all he has done. i just do. i hate that i feel like this. i hate that i miss him terribly.