My question is why do you want to talk to him? You already told him what he needs to do in order to see his child etc. If he does not want to comply to your demands what is the point? You are stressing about something you have no control over. Let it go and move on with the support you receive here and NA. You are only doing more damage to yourself with the "what if's". He is not going to give you the answers you want to hear at most he will blame you for what happened to him. So move forward, it's hard but you have to take one minute, hour, day at a time. It will get easier.