Thanks Moot, I've just been feeling unwanted and unloved and unliked lately. I have people in my life everyday, but I still feel alone and empty because so few people understand. Neither one of my 2 best friends have any clue (writing through tears now, sorry). One tells me to follow this diet/excersice/Bible "to do" list for 27 days and to get off my meds and I will be fine. The other one just keeps trying to give advice, but she's such a healthy minded person that she can't grasp things like.... when I tell her why I was 2 hours late to work and got yelled at that setting 2 alarm clocks doesn't help me. That's her advice is to set 2 alarm clocks. Tried that and it didn't work. Then everyone's advice is to have people call me. Oh, they call sometimes all right, but it still doesn't work fully. I may not be 2 hours late, but an hour is still late. And then I feel very guilty for depending on anyone to call me. And then when they realize that it didn't really help me get to work on time, then they feel discouraged. It's a never ending cycle with every problem I'm having like that.
Although, I do feel like ANY advice is better than no advice. I know my friend cares when she listens to me ramble for hours and my other friend takes the time to read my long e-mails and reply with his "to do" lists.
I guess I'm just having another pity party for myself - not well attended, but I tend to throw a lot of them. (If this isn't negative thinking, I don't know what is...but I was just thinking, "In fact, even my 2 attempts in my life to throw real parties were busts. None of my friends showed up and I had a kitchen full of liqure and food. One of the times, my room-mate had some friends over the next day and she asked if they could enjoy the things I had bought for the night before and she ended up having a very successful party. I think *I'm a loser, but at least I can admit it*). Yep, I guess I really do have a problem with negative thinking. :crazy:
Oh well, that's just one more thing to add to my recovery list.