I'm still working on accepting myself. I grew up in a household where my father was very angry and critical and it definitely has an impact on your self esteem. I was told sooo many things by my axbf, I made a list of them last night:
I wasn't supportive enough
I wasn't giving enough emotionally
Didn't like his friends enough (they also drank too much)
Didn't have sex with him enough
Wasn't neat and organized enough
Had a crappy job
Woke up too late
Didn't go to the gym enough
Didn't leave my apartment enough
Haven't traveled enough
Spent too much money on dumb things
Read self-help books that he thought were stupid
Ah, you get the picture, don't you? Pretty much nothing I did was good enough in his eyes. This was in addition to the terrifying temper outbursts that could flare at any time by some seemingly insignificant thing on my part. I think on some level they choose people with self-esteem issues because you will believe and tolerate their nonsense. The worse we feel about ourselves, the more in control they feel...
My self esteem is still a mess but I am working to recover it.
By the way, I was terrified of leaving my first marriage but I did it and don't regret that at all.
good luck
And don't let the turkeys get you down.
