Thank you all for your positive re-enforcement. I got my butt outta bed today and went to the thrift store, retail therapy helps a little too. Everything there costs .99 cents so I spent $7 on a variety of things and it was good to get out of the house today. My husband just came home to eat lunch (bc he was too lazy to pack his own lunch) and he wasn't messed up. He informed me that he called the Dr. and has an appt next Wed with her to get back on the suboxone. He then asked if I would like to go with him, and I said yes. So I guess its a good thing I backed off, he made the decision for himself and actually called, I am suprised to say the least. I am sure between now and then he will go on a crazy binge, but I guess we will see. Atleast there is some relief on the horizon and I plan to continue to do for me, and to live my life routine as I see fit for me not as I/he see fit for him. I know once I get a job I will feel alot better, I like to work and get outta the house and have $. I have applied to almost 25 jobs and have gotten no replys, ugh so frustrating being a brand new nurse, everyone wants experience but I can't get any! Hopefully something will come my way soon as I am broke and beginning to really worry about finances, especially if he goes back on subs. Meds& Dr visits are expensive. No I dont pay for it, he does but sometimes the bills back up at home. I would rather he pay for meds and the bills be a little late than buy drugs and bills not pd at all. IDK, Im just sick of being in a constant state of worry, if its not one thing its another...