I took the advice of some of my fellow chatters and did something for me today. I drove around just looking at the beautiful homes, flowers and fields, no radio, just me the rain and the backroads. I know its something so simple, but I felt a little better (my fam used to do this every Sun we'd get ice cream and just drive and look at pretty homes). I then cleaned my house bc I couldn't stand the mess anymore (like I said I havent done anything in over a week bc I shouldnt have to do for my AH what he could do for himself if he weren't on drugs- laundry, dishes, etc etc) I always feel better with a clean house and when things are in there place. I didn't call my husband all day, I started dinner on my own without waiting for him to come home like I usually do. He came home during the midst of me prepping and actually helped. I didn't talk to him much, but did talk to him more than I did yesterday. He was obviously f*d up, but I didnt feel as though I needed to talk to him or have him see me upset, kind of like I didn't give a crap I was going to go about my routine as I see fit for me. Then I played with my 2cats and my tiny little baby kitty, that always makes me feel good, atleast my cats love me & they don't lie to me either... My husband feel asleep right after dinner, like I said he's high and then drank 4-5 beers on top of that. So he began doping out right after dinner, slept on the couch until he just got up half an hour ago and went to bed. I was just watching tv and searching the web for craft ideas. Yes I was upset about him being high and drinking but I also felt a little free, like there wasnt any pressure of not knowing how to act around him. Guess that simple little drive helped me a little. And you know what? I am going to do a lil something for myself again tomorrow.
