Family help please
Hi there,
So, I wrote a thread last Friday about the fact that I had a pretty good amount of sobriety (2 years on and off but a solid year within that 2 years). I’m a 30 year old female and I have been struggling with this disease since I was about 20. So, I went on a bender about 2 weeks ago – it lasted a week – drank morning, noon and night. I did a lot of things during that time which I am not proud of – lying and going over the deep end with people I love being the most detrimental ones.
I have had issues with my mom and my sister for ages. It’s always been them and then me and my dad (divorced from my mom) on the other side. For years, my dad has been telling me one thing and my mom another. Whether it be about infidelity in their marriage, money matters, businesses owned and lied about – you name it – it was a he said/she said debacle.
Long story short – when I was on my bender, I brought these issues up with my mother, who wouldn’t answer any of my questions about what my dad was saying, because she “is my mother” and said she was numb. Granted, I was drunk crying like a lunatic on the phone, swearing I hadn’t been drinking. I know I messed up in my delivery, but these issues are still bothering me. Through about a day or 2 or 3 of back and forth with my mom and my sister, my sister disowned me and I’m the godmother of her 6 month old baby and she told me she wants nothing to do with me and she wants me nowhere near my nephew. Haven’t talked to either of them since. Also haven’t talked to my dad who was supposed to be on my side.
I’m feeling very broken and alone. I feel like I messed up with this big time. They hate me drunk and they hate me even more about what I said (at least what I remember I said). I don’t know how to mend this bridge, as I severely burned it.
I’m sober now and after this hiccup I swear to myself and to God I am not going to go down this road again. Does anyone have any advice or experience with really messing up family relationships? How can I even approach them now? I’m so embarrassed and guilt-ridden, however, I do still have these questions. Should I just let the past be the past?