Originally Posted by
ZiggyB 
It is very weird that she contacted you, no wonder it's been on your mind. It's even weirder that she's staying! Some people seem to think they have the magic ability to fix and rescue people but it does not work that way!
I don't know why I still care about my axbf sometimes... I am so glad I don't have to worry about which bar he is at all the time and having to have stupid parties with him and his boozing friends, he verbally abused me, that was not very much fun I can tell you. He would have been a great guy if he ever wanted to sober up. oh well!
That's the thing i don't miss the BS, smelling his breath, worrying if he was drinking while i wasn't with him, checking his empties, it was stressful, i just can't live like that. I feel sorry for her. She will find everything out sooner or later. I kept telling her she needs to stop focussing on him and focus on herself, she didnt even understand what i was saying so i stopped. I have been there, and when you don't want to hear it you simply won't hear it.
I thought i could fix him too but he has sooo much work to do and i just couldn't do it he has to do it and he really doesn't think he has a problem, so i walked away and decided to finally get help for MY co-dependence instead, focus on ME instead of him.
I miss the good parts of him though and quite honestly i miss being loved. But i don't even think it was really love. I am however, learning to love myself for what feels like the first time in a long time. Coming to this forum is my saving grace. If i hadn't found you amazing people i would have stayed with him and in the process lost myself.
So please remember Justabloke it is NOT worth it to contact her, the work begins with us.