lillamy, JT1968,
THAT IS IT! i was in the same boat too. But he closed the door for me. For you it was "i am lonley" for me it was "i faked it to see if i still felt it". Those are not good reasons to f#@* with someone elses feelings.
Justabloke, i hope you can find some peace soon. It is truly empowering and gives you a feeling of freedom to just not feed into it anymore. That is all it would be if you would write to her.
I have also written letters. I even saved them on my computer. When i read them i see, that i still feel the same way but i also see that it was a letter out of anger and a reaction to his actions. And THAT is the thing i will not give him anymore. Guess what happens when you don't communicate anymore? Nothing. Because i think in the end they really might have never cared about us. That does hurt and will take some time to heal from. But better to start your life now then to wait for something that you deep down probably know is never going to work out or is simply never going to happen.
For me it has only been a short time in my own recovery and i am SO MUCH better now. I am starting to see myself emerge slowly.
Life will start to look much brighter really soon.