Lily, welcome to SR I am sorry your going through this terrible disease but am glad you found a place to talk. Your right your sister does not want help she has not hit that point yet being a nurse she knows what addiction is.
I am sorry you have cried so much please know your forgetting too add your nieces picture is not your fault you were grieving your dad and trying to put everything together that is a hard thing too do when we lose someone.
You do know you do not have to reply to her text? Should you decide you want too you can always wait before you respond.
Detachment is necessary when someone we love is an addict you can detach and still love her.
Your husband sounds very loving and wise he seems as he will help support you through this read around all you want and if you haven't already read the stickies at the top we will walk with you.