I'm sorry you're going through this. I have two wonderful children, ages 9 and 10, with my AH. He moved out in April at my insistence. I am only now, 4+ months later, staaaaarting to gradually see differences in the kids. They are beginning to respond more appropriately to boundaries and seem happier and healthier overall. It's a rocky road, and I'm sure we have many more obstacles to come, especially as the kids approach their teen years. But we will get through them together! Children learn what they see, not what you try to tell them. So it's important to keep them away from the chaos of addiction. I wish I had realized that sooner!
Anyway, I am a survivor! My life is not what I ever pictured it would be, and I still grieve over 'what could have been' but I try to stay focused on the future and what IS in my control (not the addiction, which is out of my control). I try to put my kids first in everything, every day. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!