Anns,
It is so hard to deal with the "others" who don't have a program and don't understand how we live our own lives. To me, you ARE practicing tough love.... its tough to love our addicts/alcoholics when they are acting they way they do, but its because of your program that you can love him no matter what and still be ok!
If that's not TOUGH love, I don't know what is
HUGS
Osier59