I am so sorry that you are going thru all of this too! I have been there with my XABF! I am ashamed to say that I paid his rent about 5 months a year for the last 2 years. Oh along with electric, water, food....in addition to paying my own! I also paid for rehab which that part I still do not regret. We are no longer together but I can't tell you the number of times that he needed my support, my help to clean up, my love....sadly or pathetically I believed him each time and I thought surely this is bottom....surely this is it! Nope! I finally had to get out! It makes me sad and mad! Nothing I did changed or helped anything. The one thing that gets me today is if I had not done all this, maybe he would be better today. He is 40 years old and rarely functions in the real world. The moment I quit doing for him and lived w the boundaries I set.....he was done with me! I just wished I had let him fall for both of us! Take care of yourself! I feel for you and I know how painful it is for you. Try to stay strong!