Yes. Alanon teaches us to stop reacting...stop the knee-jerk reactions. But when you question the intentions of what someone says like in the OP yes that was a manipulating statement. The only person you should worry about is yourself and doing what is best for you. It seems to me whoever the person is, they are trying to tell you what THEY think you should do. That is none of their business. Only YOU know what is best for you and what you need to do to feel good about yourself. Others can offer suggestions in a healthy way but from what I read above it seems to be very passive-aggressive behavior (ie...computer use and how you dress) Ultimately it's up to you to interpret what you think. I was not there so honestly I don't know. However, based on my past experiences in life it seems to me this person is being manipulative. Hope this helps you
