Manipulative isn't the word I would use. I agree that you shouldn't care what anyone thinks of you as long as 'you' believe you are living a good life that brings you happiness. That said, when your Mother points something out to you, she may be trying to tell you that she sees potential in you that you are wasting. But if you believe your life is good and you are happy, then it doesn't matter what she thinks (Is how I see her meaning)
Choublak, are you navel gazing again....?
As far as her response to you telling her about something good you have done, she is reiterating her beliefs-It doesn't matter what she thinks. She is consistent.