"....she wants me to be a social and occasional drinker." That won't happen.
No one likes change. Now is the time to get a real hobby or activity you and wife like to do together. Maybe start to get to know each other on a deeper level.
It's your choice what to do, but this alcoholism is not a joke.
Have you considered AA? Take wife to an open meeting? Al Anon? Something.... read Under the Influence together and discuss what you've read? Read the book Alcoholics Anonymous a chapter at a time and discuss it?
Just some things to think about.
I wish you both well.